Montezuma’s chocolates: the best English junk food

Before you protest that chocolate transcends junk food and is therefore equally good across cultures, I would like to say this to you: apple-flavored gummies covered in milk chocolate.

Maybe it’s your thing, but those convinced me that at least the Japanese can do chocolate terribly wrong.

The English, on the other hand, get chocolate surprisingly right:

We first had Monty’s chocolates when Ginny brought some to us as a thank-you gift for putting her up during a visit to Boston. She brought three: dark chocolate with chile, dark chocolate with orange and geranium, and milk chocolate with peppermint and vanilla. The orange and geranium was easily my favorite, and the chile chocolate was perfectly respectable. J-P and I are both wary of milk chocolates, but Montezuma’s milk with peppermint and vanilla blew us away. Not too sweet, not too minty, but very flavorful and super creamy.

You can’t get them to ship their chocolates to the States, so we had to wait a couple of years to get more. J-P went to a conference in London last year with strict orders to return with more Montezuma’s, or not at all. So it was tense when his carry-on got pulled for a search before his return flight. The guards said that they thought the chocolates might be explosives, and that even though they were clearly chocolates, they would have to take one bar for “testing.” J-P asked that they take the milk chocolate, and they did. Its loss was sorely felt back home.

All of this gave me one goal for English souvenirs: more Montezuma’s. I spied a Montezuma’s store as we traipsed through a glass-ceilinged arcade of shops, and I dragged J-P (who hadn’t yet noticed it) there by the hand, chanting
“chocolate, chocolate, chocolate.” It was a tough decision which ones to get, but we settled on the Radical Stack. It had the three we had tried before, plus intriguing new flavors.

So far we’ve eaten the milk chocolate, chile, and lime. Super creamy, just like the other milk variety we’ve tried, with the barest hint of chile but terrific sweet lime flavor. We’re looking forward to trying the rest, and working hard not to eat them all at once.

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